I'm not like them, but I can pretend

ok here we go. well i'm goin insane once again cuz i have a million and one things to do this week but hey who doesn't so i won't get into it. well it hasn't been the greatest last few weeks. i can't wait to go home but at the same time i'm gonna miss my friends up here sooo much. i luv u girls!!! i'm still waiting for the letters from my aunt and grandmother to come, i wish they would just get here so i can stop worrying about what they're gonna say. at this point i don't even care what they say just as long as i know where i stand w/ them. it's been tearing me up inside. i really hope i get them before i go home so i can be by myself or at least w/ friends and not my family. also i really don't want my mom knowing that i wrote to my aunt cuz i'm not sure how she'll feel about it. damn i wish i could just find out now. well i guess everything has it's time.

i'm sooo glad it's been so nice up here lately. it's been beautiful and sunny and warm. that's the most important word there, warm. i might go for a walk later if i ever stop procrastinating and finish my work (yeah right, like that's ever gonna happen). less than two weeks left at school and only four more days of classes left. i'm soo excited. jesus, does anyone know how to shut up a moron? cuz my roommates "blessing" me w/ her wonderful voice (sense the sarcasm). sorry for that but it's taking all my strenght to not just smack her upside her head right now. only two more weeks. thank God, i'll never have to hear her horrible voice or see her disgusting face again. and i'll be spending time w/ my real friends. WOO HOO!!!! cant' wait, this is gonna be awesome!

i think i really jus need a break from everyone. i think we're all gettin a little on edge w/ the approach of finals. i def think i'm pushing some of my friends away from me and it's killing me. i know someone in particular is getting really fed up and i'm really sorry, i just can't control some things. i really wish i could but i just can't change some things. i know that she cares about me but sometimes i really wonder. there's nothing i wouldn't do for any of them but sometimes i find myself questioning myself as a friend. sometimes i really think they would all be better off without me. i feel like i complain about soo much and no one wants to hear my bullshit cuz it's nothing compared to what some of them have been through. well i guess i'll stop my bitching and get started on my shit that needs to be done.

Peace Out!!

Current mood: lost, confused, happy, sad, angry, (pretty much every emotion)
Quote of the day: "sometimes i get the worlds dyslexic and anorexic confused and i'll be like 'oh he's dyslexic, he can use both hands"
"Do you mean ambydexterous?"
"Yeah that too"-Jen talkin to Liza